Common communication errors:

1. Truth- You insist you are right and the other person is wrong.
2. Blame- You imply the problem is all the other person’s fault.
3. Defensiveness- You argue and refuse to admit any flaw or shortcoming.
4. Martyrdom- You claim you are the victim of the other person’s tyranny.
5. Putdown- You use harsh or hurtful language and try to make the other person feel inferior or ashamed.
6. Labeling- You call the other person a jerk, loser, or worse.
7. Sarcasm- Your attitude, words, and tone of voice are belittling or patronizing.
8. Counter attack- You respond to criticism with criticism.
9. Scapegoating- You imply the other person is defective or inadequate.
10. Diversion- You change the subject or list past grievances.
11. Self blame- You act as if you are awful and terrible to prevent the other person from criticizing you.
12. Hopelessness- You claim you’ve tried everything and nothing works.
13. Demandingness- You complain the other person ‘should’ be the way you expect or want them to be.
14. Denial- You deny your own role in the problem or insist you don’t feel upset when you really do.
15. Helping- Instead of listening, you give advice or help.
16. Problem solving- You ignore the other person’s feelings and try to solve the problem that’s bothering him/her.
17. Passive aggressive- You say nothing but instead pout, slam doors
18. Mind reading- You expect the other person to know how you feel without having to tell him/her.

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