Common communication errors:
- Truth- You insist you are right and the other person is wrong.
- Blame- You imply the problem is all the other person’s fault.
- Defensiveness- You argue and refuse to admit any flaw or shortcoming.
- Martyrdom- You claim you are the victim of the other person’s tyranny.
- Putdown- You use harsh or hurtful language and try to make the other person feel inferior or ashamed.
- Labeling- You call the other person a jerk, loser, or worse.
- Sarcasm- Your attitude, words, and tone of voice are belittling or patronizing.
- Counter attack- You respond to criticism with criticism.
- Scapegoating- You imply the other person is defective or inadequate.
- Diversion- You change the subject or list past grievances.
- Self blame- You act as if you are awful and terrible to prevent the other person from criticizing you.
- Hopelessness- You claim you’ve tried everything and nothing works.
- Demandingness- You complain the other person ‘should’ be the way you expect or want them to be.
- Denial- You deny your own role in the problem or insist you don’t feel upset when you really do.
- Helping- Instead of listening, you give advice or help.
- Problem solving- You ignore the other person’s feelings and try to solve the problem that’s bothering him/her.
- Passive aggressive- You say nothing but instead pout, slam doors
- Mind reading- You expect the other person to know how you feel without having to tell him/her.
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